


The Right Choice

by B_Tea347



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26479663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Tea347/pseuds/B_Tea347
Summary: "'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" – Alfred Lord TennysonEmily had to leave JJ and their kids after Ian Doyle came back and threatened her family’s safety. JJ never knew the real reason why Emily left. All she got was a letter from Emily with the words “I’m sorry. It not you, it’s me. I don’t love you anymore. Goodbye.” Ever since that night, JJ has shut out everyone except her kids, Henry and Michael. The team knows the real reason why Emily left but was begged by Emily not to tell the blonde. They knew, that if the blonde knew the real reason why her significant other left, Jennifer would never stop searching for Emily.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr., Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Does not follow Criminal Minds timeline completely.

Emily Prentiss and Jennifer Jaraeu have been together for almost six years. It was like any other ordinary day, until it wasn’t. Emily went out to get the mail, when she noticed a letter with a purple flower, a lilac Freesia. She knew that her family is in danger and there is only one way to fix it.

“Hey, Em, what’s taking you so long to go get the mail?” Jennifer said as she gave Emily a hug from behind and a kiss on the neck.

“It’s nothing, Jayje. Let’s go back inside and get the boys ready for school,” Emily said as she laced her fingers with the blonde’s fingers. She knew that this may just be the last she’ll be able to do all these little things.

The day progressed as it normally did. The team doing their paperwork in the bullpen. Emily knew that the time has finally come for her to reveal a part of her past she wished no one ever had to find out. She gathered them at the round table.

“I need you guys to promise me that none of you will tell Jennifer whatever I am about to say. Whatever information I share in this room, stays in this room, am I clear?” Emily clarified to the team, staring each one in the eye to show them that this is no joking matter. Whatever jokes the team was going to spit out got caught in their throats after seeing the look in Emily’s eyes.

“Doesn’t JJ have a right to know about what is going on in your life? She is your significant other, is she not?” Reid asked, not happy about keeping secrets from his best friend, the only person in the world that calls him “Spence”.

“I’m doing this for her safety as well as the safety of Henry and William. My past has finally caught up to me, and he has been seeking revenge for years now,” Emily says while looking at her fingers and twirling the couple ring that she got for JJ and herself. Emily proceeds to tell the story about her time in Interpol and JTF-12. After her whole explanation, the team stood there speechless, not knowing what to say after learning about the brunette’s past.

“I know this is all a lot to process, but I ask, no beg, you not to tell JJ anything. I’m going to be leaving tonight, to hunt Doyle and finish all of this once and for all. If JJ finds out, I know she will follow me and put herself in danger,” Emily said before looking down and playing with her hands. She knew that her request would be hard to fulfill because JJ would surely ask them regarding her whereabouts. It would take all that they have to lie to Jennifer with a straight face.

“We’ll do it,” Hotch said speaking for the team. “However, you have to promise us that you will come back. You can’t just leave JJ and the boys, they need you. Just hope that JJ will understand your reason when you come back and explain everything to her,” Hotch continued to say before giving Emily a pat on the back. The rest of the team each gave her a hug, knowing well this might just be the last time they see her alive.


	2. Where’s The “Good” in “Goodbye”

**_“It takes a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye.” – Unknown_ **

* * *

After a long day at work, the members of the BAU started to leave one after another. Emily stayed behind to talk to Garcia.

“Garcia, I need you to do me a favor after I leave. I already bought birthday and Christmas presents for Henry and Michael. I want you to give it to them when they celebrate it. I also want you to send this text to JJ two days after I leave,” Emily listed things for Garcia to do after she leaves.

“Why don’t you just let us help you with Doyle? Why don’t you give the present to the boys yourself?” Garcia said with tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t help but feel sad at the thought of Emily risking her life to keep theirs unharmed. Emily shut her eyes and gave Garcia a hug. If it were the members of JTF-12, Emily would have consulted and looked for Doyle with them. After all, they all had nothing to lose but each other; they could fight until the end. It was different with the BAU. They were like family to her, and she would do anything to keep them from harm’s way. This was the only way she knew, running away.

“Garcia, I promise you, I will come back. I will come back because I want to be together with my family again,” Emily said before leaving Garcia’s office. On the way to JJ’s office at The Pentagon, Emily picked up a necklace and wine. She knew that giving this gift to JJ would send signals, but Emily couldn’t help but leave JJ with a parting gift, something to remember their relationship by.

“Hey, Emily, how was your day?” JJ asked before boarding the car and giving the brunette a kiss on the lips. Emily reciprocated the kiss and fastened the seatbelt for JJ. She gave JJ a smile and went on to drive home. JJ felt that Emily was being a bit off, but it could have just been a hard day at work.

“I bought wine. Do you want to stay up late, watch a movie, and cuddle?” Emily asked before intertwining her hands with JJ’s and bringing up to her lips to place a kiss. JJ couldn’t help but blush and feel butterflies in her stomach, even though Emily and she have been dating for almost six years.

“Sure, I miss staying up late at night. Maybe we could do more than watch a movie,” JJ suggested, squeezing Emily’s hand tighter and winking at the brunette. Emily couldn’t help but feel sad that she was going to have to hurt the people that she loved to keep them safe. No, it was better this way, better that they hate her and forget about her. This way, they won’t chase after her anymore.

After dinner, the two ladies went to put the boys to bed. After putting the boys to bed, Emily went over to JJ and covered her eyes. “Em, what are you doing?” JJ asked trying to remove the hands of the brunette from her face. “Just wait. I want to give you a surprise.” Emily explained as she put the necklace on the blonde’s neck. She, then, removed her hands, turned JJ around, and gave her a kiss on the lips. Emily was trying hard to distract JJ from profiling her. She knew that JJ would be able to connect the dots.

One thing led to another, and the lovers had a long night of activities in the comfort of their bed. JJ was the first to fall asleep, not forgetting to cuddle up to her lover as she drifted off to sleep. Emily couldn’t fall asleep, not with so many things running through her mind. She looked down at the blonde, that was fast asleep, and couldn’t help but tear up. She blinked the tears away and brushed the hair out of the blonde’s face. She got up quietly and started to pack her things into the go bag. She left her badge and service gun in the gun safe, together with Jennifer's. She gave the blonde one last kiss on the forehead before going to the boys’ room.

When she got to the boys’ room, she saw Michael already awake and staring at the ceiling. The way he smiled and giggled silently at her almost made her want to stay. She approached Henry and gave him a kiss on the forehead. She, then, approached Michael’s cot and lifted him out. She gave him a big kiss on the cheek and gave him a new toy. She put him back in his cot and went downstairs.

Before leaving, she decided to leave a letter under all the delivery flyers. Maybe one day, JJ would see this letter and understand everything. Emily knew that she had to leave now, or JJ would wake up and find her. She got into her SUV, drove away, and didn’t look back.


	3. Come Back Home

A few hours after Emily left, JJ woke up to her phone ringing. She turns off her alarm and feels the other side of the bed. It was like cold water was splashed over her. She immediately ran to Michael and Henry’s room. She relaxed as she saw the two boys fast asleep, however her adrenaline started to pump after she saw the Emily wasn’t in the room. She went down to the kitchen and saw no signs of her. After searching the whole house and finding no signs of the brunette, she immediately called the team.

“Guys, Emily’s missing. I think she may have been taken. Her side of the bed is cold, so she could have been taken for over 3 hours now. Her badge and service gun are still in the safe,” JJ said as she got dressed and put her badge and firearm.

“JJ, relax. Let’s think this through, maybe she just left to buy groceries,” Hotch suggested, fully knowing that was a lie.

“No Hotch, you don’t understand. She would have left a note, text, or... SOMETHING. We need to find her NOW,” She said hysterically as she started her car and backed out of the driveway. She sent a text to her parents, and they said they were on the way.

“JJ, I know I promised Emily not to tell, but … Just come down to the office. We’ll explain everything.” Spencer said before hanging up. JJ tried to call again but no one would pick up. She realized it was futile to keep calling cause no one would pick up either way. She drove as quickly as possible to the FBI headquarters. Once she got there, she immediately parked her car and got into the elevator. She couldn’t help but pace in the elevator, worried about what could be happening to Emily. She didn’t even notice that the elevator doors have opened until she felt someone hug her; she snapped out of her trance to see it was Garcia. Once she felt Garcia pull away, she walked out of the elevator and to the round table.

“I know I promised Emily not to tell you this, but I can’t let her do this to you and herself. She’s being hunted down by an international terrorist. She ran to protect us, her family,” Spencer explained the whole situation not even taking a second to breathe; he knew this was the right decision. JJ was so shocked that she could barely stand. She immediately thought back to the last two days; Emily had been acting out of it.

“W-why? Why would she run from us if we could help her? How do you know what happened to her?” JJ had so many questions she wanted to ask, but she got the most important ones out of the way.

“Emily explained the whole situation to us yesterday. She made us promise to keep everything a secret. She knew that if you knew, you would stop at nothing to find her and put yourself in danger,” Hotch explained to JJ; he did not miss the anger, confusion, and hurt in JJ’s eyes. She had every right to feel those emotions. Her family hid, what was probably the most important, information from her.

A gasp brought the attention of the team to Garcia who looked as if someone just died. “G-guys, Emily’s b-been s-s-shot,” Garcia choked out before playing CCTV footage of Emily getting shot and stuffed into a car.

JJ’s knees buckled and tears just started to flow down her cheeks. All the emotions she was trying to keep at bay have finally let themselves free. It was as if she was stuck in horrible movie, the scene of Emily getting shot kept looping in her mind. She was suddenly brought back to the day that Emily covered for Reid and got beaten up by Benjamin Cyrus. JJ remembered how Emily kept chanting ‘I can take it.’ to tell the team to stay put and not to charge in. If Emily could talk to them, she would most probably say the same thing to keep her family safe.

“Pen, can you play the tape again? I’m sure Emily would have left something for us to work with,” JJ said as she stood up and wiped her tears. If she wanted to get Emily back, she should get it together and lock all her emotions into a box, compartmentalize.

Garcia played back the tape and that when they all say it. Emily was signing and staring at the camera as she got into the car. She intentionally chose this spot to attack which meant that she was expecting to get shot and most probably wore a Kevlar vest. Everyone could see Reid deciphering the message Emily was trying to send. He eventually picks up a pen and starts to write. After a minute or so, he drops the pen and pad of paper and approaches the board.

“She said Valhalla, North Korea prison, Louise, boy, dead, find,” Reid said as he wrote on the board. “From the research that I have conducted, Valhalla was the alias of Doyle. When he was caught using the evidence acquired by JTF-12, he was sent to a political prison in North Korea. We have to figure out who Louise and the boy are.”

“I might know who Louise and the boy are,” a voice came from the door. All heads turned to see a brunette man standing by the door. He proceeded to walk towards the board and write a timeline, not even caring to introduce himself.

“Who are you, and how did you get in?” Hotch asked, instinctively reaching for his piece. The man ignored him and continued to write on the board. After a while, he dropped the marker and turned to face the team.

“I’m Clyde Easter, the leader of JTF-12. Emily sent me a message the moment she received the flower in her mail,” Clyde said as he reached his hand out to Hotch.

“By chance, is it a purple flower?” JJ inquired about the flower Clyde was talking about. She vaguely remembers seeing Emily holding the flower together with their mail. If this was what made Emily leave her and the boys, JJ would never forgive herself for not seeing the signs.

“Yes, lilac Freesias were one of the flowers that grew in Doyle’s old residence. He sent it to her knowing well this would be the one thing that would send Emily running for the hills. He knew that she would know it was him sending it and that he was coming,” Clyde confirmed while he gave out a set of files to Garcia. “These files contain all the information we were able to gather during our operation on Doyle. There were five of us in the joint task force, and the other three are dead.”

The team each grabbed a file and started to read. They soon realized that Emily was hiding way more than what she had told them. JJ felt the most betrayed as she was reading the files. She suddenly remembered the case with Tobias Hankel.

_“Emily” JJ called out to her._

_“Yeah?” Emily responded stopping in her tracks._

_“How come none of this gets to you?” JJ asked as she put her gun in her holster._

_“What do you mean?” Emily asks, not really understanding the question._

_“You came off of a desk job, now suddenly you’re in the field, surrounded by mutilated bodies, and you don’t even flinch,” JJ explains, trying to understand the woman before her._

_“I... guess... maybe... I can compartmentalize better than most people” Emily said before walking away._

JJ now understand why Emily answered this way. The cases the BAU has taken may be bad, but Emily has seen worse. JJ snapped out of her trance when she heard the phone ring.

“Hello, Beloved Behavioral Analysis Unit, I am aware that you have seen the tape. I am quite sorry to have announced my arrival in this manner. I was hoping that we could have met over a drink, but Lauren here had other plans. Not to worry, we will still have that drink,” Doyle greeted the BAU, obviously taunting them on their failure to save the Prentiss.

“Also, Agent Jaraeu, I don’t think you would feel please after knowing how JTF-12 obtained all the information in those files. You weren’t the first that Lauren, or should I say Emily, has been with. How do you think they were able to get some of the information in those files.”

The team could hear groaning in the background and faint sounds of someone getting slapped. Hotch immediately snapped out of his shock had Garcia trace the call.

“Lauren, why don’t you say hi to your team, especially your girlfriend?” Doyle said before removing the cloth on Emily’s mouth.

“I-I’m sorry, Jayje. Let me go; you deserve better. _Ti amo, non dimenticarlo mai_. _Proteggi il ragazzo_ ,” This was all Emily was able to say before Doyle hung up the phone. She knew that he would think that the boy was Henry or Michael. After all, he thought that his son was dead.

“She said ‘I love you, never forget that. Protect the boy.’ What if the boy isn’t really dead?” Rossi deduced after connecting the dots. What if Emily faked the boy’s death?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't speak Italian, so I am sorry if the translation is quite awkward.


	4. Letting Go

**_“The past is never where you think you left it.” – Katherine Anne Porter_ **

Emily approached the vehicle outside of The Black Shamrock and threw a grenade flash bang, in hopes that it would momentarily shock those inside the car and give her enough time to deal with Doyle.

“Where’s Doyle? Where’s Ian Doyle?” Emily said before hearing a voice behind her. All she remembers is hearing a voice call her love, then getting shot twice in the stomach.

“Right here. Hello, love,” Doyle said before having his men take the passed-out agent into the car and driving away.

Emily woke up, tied to a chair in some abandoned warehouse. She immediately scanned the area, trying to memorize every inch of it. If she had a chance to escape, it would only be successful if she knew the layout of the area.

“Don’t bother trying to learn the layout, the only way you’ll be getting out of this place is in a body bag,” Doyle said while gripping her neck. “Where’s my ring?” He asked before digging his nails into her shoulder.

“I flushed it,” Emily said trying not to cringe in pain. She tries to calm herself by thinking about her family. “Look, I know what you want,” Emily said trying to get the attention of Doyle. The only way she was going to get out of this was by letting him face his stressor, Lauren Reynolds.

“And what is that?” Doyle asked, playing along with the brunette.

“You want Lauren Reynolds back. I can give that to you. I can bring her back,” Emily said before reenacting the day they first met, inside The Black Shamrock.

“You really think I would let you fool me twice,” Doyle said while gripping Emily’s neck.

“Four-leaf clover should be nice addition to you other tattoos. You still have two, right?” Doyle asked, remembering that she had two from before.

“Yup, and that’s enough ink. Thanks,” Emily responded, trying to avoid having reminder placed on her body.

“Ink… North Koreans can’t afford it. They brand themselves,” Doyle said before approaching Emily and branding her on her left breast. Her screams echoed throughout the otherwise quiet warehouse. After branding her, he sits down in front of her and studies her.

“Bring it here,” He ordered one of subordinates. “Let’s see if you really can bring Lauren Reynolds back,” Doyle smirked before showing Emily the screen.

“You said this was between you and me. That’s what you said YOU AND ME. Look I’ll do whatever you want, just leave them out of this.” Emily begged trying to free herself from the chair. She couldn’t let Doyle take away the only thing that gave her happiness, her family.

“Then why are they here? I know for a fact that I didn’t leave anything behind. Why does your team seem to be following a trail of breadcrumbs?” Doyle said before walking in front of her.

“I don’t know. All I can tell you is that I did my best in not leaving anything behind. It’s just hard when you were dropping dead bodies like flies, and the team was looking into it,” Emily said sarcastically, immediately regretting it when anger crossed Doyle’s face. She knew the only way to appease him would be to kill Fahey.

“Kill Fahey. If you kill him, my team has nothing. He’s the only loose end left,” Emily said after apologizing to the team in her head. She really did want them to find her and end it all, but she couldn’t risk putting them in danger.

“Hello Lauren, I missed you,” Doyle kissed Emily on the cheek before ordering his men to shoot Fahey. “Now that you’re back, I need to make you suffer like I did when I was in prison,” Doyle said before leaving. Emily knew she would die today; she just wished she told JJ the truth before leaving.


End file.
